Where I’ve Been

I haven’t been writing much, for reasons which will become obvious. Last year, I tore a tendon and ligament in my right elbow, and went through a whole set of trouble trying to do something about it. Early this summer, Dr. Ibrahim gave me some unpleasant news about this: my two courses of prolotherapy and one of PRP had fixed the tendon and UCL well, but the pain was continuing, and the culprit was that I was continuing to injure the arm due to usage patterns. He warned me that if I didn’t take care of this, I would end up permanently disabled, which was a remarkably ice-water-to-the-face sort of wake-up call. Obviously, drumming (impact) and riding a bike (vibration/impact) were out, and guitar is only doable in small amounts as directed by a PT (my current allotment is 10 minutes at a time, once per day)

He wanted me to get an ergonomic assessment of my home and work environment, and improve those to avoid the repetitive strain problems, and sent me to PT to try to improve it. After fooling around with Georgetown (who have a hard time understanding what “closed chain” means – the stuff they had me do was thera-band open-chain, and could have been making me worse), I got a better referral, and happily Dr Gnip knows what he’s doing.

But the upshot of the assessments were that a whole lot needed to change, and to an extent I’ve not wanted to talk about the impact because the means making it real. But the furniture is ordered (due on Wednesday), and so it is.

I converted half of my baker’s rack of music equipment to a makeshift standing desk immediately after getting the wake-up call, but now I’ve got a real standing desk coming, and that’s going to displace the music gear for real.

I’m sad about this: the last three years of medical problems have really gotten in the way of playing music, and now it feels like that’s going to get even harder and less likely. Obviously all of the rational reasons to use this space for the desk are correct, but it still feels like closing a door. I’d rather have an option which didn’t involve having to make that decision, but I don’t.

Perhaps this will lead to some greater and better or more use of that room downstairs – as a library, playroom, or something entirely different. For now, though, I need to recognize the loss of how things have been – no matter what, it’s going to be different, and I’ll have to accept that.

About thegameiam
I'm a network engineer, musician, and Orthodox Jew who opines on things which cross my path.

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