Closer to the Heart
May 18, 2012 2 Comments
מִזְמוֹר לְתוֹדָה: הָרִיעוּ לַיהוָה, כָּל-הָאָרֶץ
עִבְדוּ אֶת-יְהוָה בְּשִׂמְחָה; בֹּאוּ לְפָנָיו, בִּרְנָנָה.
דְּעוּ– כִּי יְהוָה, הוּא אֱלֹהִים:
הוּא-עָשָׂנוּ, ולא אֲנַחְנוּ– עַמּוֹ, וְצֹאן מַרְעִיתוֹ.
בֹּאוּ שְׁעָרָיו, בְּתוֹדָה–חֲצֵרֹתָיו בִּתְהִלָּה; הוֹדוּ-לוֹ, בָּרְכוּ שְׁמוֹ.
כִּי-טוֹב יְהוָה, לְעוֹלָם חַסְדּוֹ; וְעַד-דֹּר וָדֹר, אֱמוּנָתוֹ.
—Psalm 100, “A psalm of thanksgiving,”
Yesterday, Sarah and I went to CFA for a 6-week sonogram. This is the point we hadn’t gotten to in the past – that is, in both of the prior pregnancies, it was a sonogram at about this point which determined that the foetus had died.
This time was different. Dr. Sacks was extremely blasé about it – “oh, here’s the baby, and there’s the heartbeat.” They didn’t give me a digital image, but it looks like this*:
I started crying right away – and only came back to the present when he said “let’s hear it,” and played a staticy audio – it was clear (at 112bpm).
I am grateful to have been brought to this place now, and like the psalm says, I will serve the LORD in joy.
I’ll try to stay in today, but daydreaming has a way of getting the better of me, and this sure sounds like the coolest thing ever.
* Given the whole discussion about ultrasound and abortion in Virginia recently, the audibility of a heartbeat at 6 weeks throws the positions of the partisans into sharp relief.